What you deserve, but others get.
Why do some people have it easy, get things easily, while others struggle, or don’t get anything at all?
If you’ve researched this, I’m right there with you. Except the explanations have fallen short or maybe you’ve had one of those days and you just need to hear the answers again. In the past you’ve heard someone explain it like so:
- It’s just luck. And luck runs out, so just live your own life.
or…
- Life isn’t fair. No sense in crying about it.
and my favorite…
- You might think they have it easy but you don’t actually see how hard these people work.
Well what if you did see how lazy these people were? Because you do.
They’re your neighbors, classmates, coworkers, family. They TELL you how little they do and they DEFINITELY tell you when something has fallen in their lap.
“My dad bought me a car for graduation.”
“I got an A on that final I didn’t study for.”
“Can you believe I got an extra 1,000 dollars on my tax refund.”
They love to blab about their gains. In things, skills, and money. And it’s hard to hear, or worse SEE.
You. You who painstakingly works day in and day out, weekends, and holidays just to pay your debts, just to cover rent and insurance. You. You who were taught education will lead to financial success, studying even when you can’t keep your eyes open.
You, the penny pincher. You the “never calls out” employee. You, who can’t eat your favorite foods because it shows immediately.
The list goes on and on. But what are the answers, why does it happen?
Is it luck, or is life just unfair?
I bet you know someone who just keeps getting lucky. And maybe even’d wished that could be you. (Or at least for the their luck to run out.)
I find luck to be very interesting because it’s something we all wish for in board games or gambling — that scratch off we bought that we shouldn’t have — but think we rarely receive. If it’s an odds thing then we’ll all eventually get some. The difference is some people are lucky in wealth while you won 3 rounds of UNO in a row. Unfortunately you can’t choose in what area you’re lucky in. But you are lucky in something.
On the matter about life…there’s no other way to say this, LIFE ISN’T FAIR. I wish I could soften the blow but you knew I was going to mention it. Life has no favorites.
Our handouts may be small but we get them too.
Let me tell you a short story, I still remember one time I received a handout. It happened early one morning at a Starbucks drive-thru…
I wasn’t suppose to be getting Starbucks. It had been a while since I bought a coffee from there because let’s be real it’s much cheaper making the home stuff. But I had just finished a particularly tough overnight shift and knew I couldn’t stay awake to make the hour plus drive home without some food and coffee.
As I was trying to reason with myself the splurge-y purchase and calculating how much money I would have left to make it through the week, I drove up to the window to hear that the orange sedan in front me paid for my coffee and croissant.
This happened over three years ago and it’s not like a Mercedes fell in my lap, but I rested easy that week knowing I wouldn’t struggle until my next paycheck.
It’s a constant reminder that all of us get handouts. They come from our families, friends, coworkers and bosses. Even complete strangers, as in my case.
Do you really want a handout?
You ever hear those who do nothing get complimented? If they do, it’s usually on what they own and rarely on who they are.
I rarely hear someone compliment a lazy person for luckily finding $100 on the floor. Can you imagine someone saying: “Wow, look at you, you’re so lazy you earned that hundred!” NO, you know why? Because sane people don’t compliment laziness, or those always receiving handouts.
On the other hand, time and again I hear hard-working people get complimented. And it’s not on what they have but WHO THEY ARE. In fact there’s a line of people telling them that they wish they had their strive, perseverance, work ethic, and ability to sacrifice.
Remember, I know the type of person you are. You’re the one studying longer than your classmates, penny pinching more than your friends, praying harder than your peers, and sacrificing more than your family members. You don’t want a handout because you don’t need one. You have made it this far through your own efforts while carrying the world on your back.
But you could use a break, and appreciation, acknowledgement that someone sees the effort you are putting in, day in and day out. I can see it. I’m sure there are people that you know that can see it too. Call them. Write to them. Tell them how you’re feeling and that you need a reminder.
Surround yourself with hard workers.
Here’s my solution, and one that actually works. Contrary to popular belief, a majority of successful people have had to work for their gains in life, love, health, and elsewhere. We just sometimes get stuck with groups of people who are the exact opposite or are stupid lucky. And those people will always exist. Those lazy, bare minimum workers, or undeserving ungrateful humans. But they don’t have to make up your social majority.
Surround yourself with hard workers instead. With those who yes might receive handouts but aren’t shoving them in your face. On the contrary, they want to share their good fortune with you.
Also, appreciate the hard workers in your life. They might feel exactly as you do. They might look put together but they could be feeling down or lost. They might need some appreciation too, or someone to notice all the sacrifices they are making.
And lastly, remember that the majority of successful people have had to work nonstop for their success. If you don’t believe me, Google it. But please don’t let undeserving, insignificant lazy others matter. Keep your head up, but if you’re down, read this post again.
