What I Didn’t Know About My Hair
In 2007 at twenty years old I wore my hair wild. I wish I could say it was a stand against the beauty standards of the world, but it wasn’t. I was definitely clueless about beauty standards, but more importantly I was clueless about who I was.
It seems a bit dramatic to correlate my identity with the evolution of my hair, but when I think about my hair and the treatment of my hair since I was a child, it makes sense. Little did I know that the wild hair in my twenties was actually a bigger part of who I was than any other point in my past.
At 7 years old I was the girl who threw a fit in front of the mirror whenever my hair wouldn’t behave. If I had flyaways, that was the end of the day for me. If I had hair that would stick up, I would wash my hair multiple times until my hair behaved. As I grew older I discovered flat ironing and almost always preferred to wear my hair straight.
However, by the time I had reached my twenties my hair had become such a chore that I had given up on doing anything to it. In all honesty, it was every emotional misstep and drawback in my life that had led me to calling it quits on my hair. It was much easier to cut it and so I did.
What I learned after rebuilding my life, both physically and mentally, helped me understand that how I had treated my hair in the past was a reflection of how I felt in those moments. If I was unsure about who I was, it showed in my hair. If I felt rebellious or pessimistic, it showed in my hair.
In 2007 at twenty years old I wore my hair wild because I didn’t care about it enough, or myself. Today, in my thirties I wear my hair wild, wild like a lion’s mane, because I care about it and myself. I take the time to treat my hair in the best way possible, just as I treat the other parts of me and I think now the emotions my hair reflect are ones of gratitude, patience, creativeness, and heart.
My name is Alicia Alcantara-Narrea and I write while working and traveling. My favorite topics are women, love, money, and my mom.
